Danielle Henderson What you wrote: “I didn’t know or like who I had become. I hated my disloyalty most of all to my boyfriend and my ability to lie so easily. I wasn’t happy with him for a while but couldn’t see my life without him despite our issues.” Exactly. I’m sorry you went through this, but as I did hope that you have come out the other side (and that your ex-boyfriend has as well) more clear about who you are and what you want and that you really do like yourself. IMHO self-compassion is the only genuine way to be compassionate with others. Start there and it grows outwards. Good luck and thank you for what you wrote.